Ugh.

So here I sit on Sunday afternoon wishing I had any motivation to do ANYTHING! I've already, bathed the dogs, brushed them, and was going to take them for a walk when all of a sudden it starts to rain. Are you kidding me?! I promised myself I will take them tonight when it isn't so hot out, and hopefully isn't raining.

I also had a major epiphany about my weight loss (well lately, my weight maintanence). As soon as I start to do well, I become very overconfident. You know what I mean, "ah, I've lost 2 pounds this week, a few french fries wont curb my loss" and then that turns into, "well I've done so well all week that I deserve a cheat day..." which then completely spirals out of control. It's a horrible pattern, and I know I do it. I just now need to find a way out of that pattern. I know you cannot deprive yourself of everything you desire or you will have a much higher rate of failure. I just need to find the happy medium between the two.

I have also come to another major realization that having someone support me will tremendously help in my weight loss, and prevent any more gain. Dustin has been working some crazy hours and having him come home at 8 p.m. completely throws off my schedule. He doesn't realize that his eating habits affect mine so much and I honestly don't know how to help him, help himself. I know he hasn't had the time to hit the gym much, if at all, lately. But if I could just have him eating better with me, that would drastically change things. I think a lot of our arguing and stupid bickering is due in part to our unhappiness with our physical selves. Not necessarily with each other, just with ourselves and our low self esteem. I know I shouldn't take that out on anyone, but it is so hard.

All in all, I am going to try to get BOTH of our diets to drastically differ and push myself towards my goal more and more each day...

Off to plan my weekly meal schedule!

ps-No weight change this week, no gain is good, but no loss is my fault...

Why oh Why!

So I sit here at work and realize that no matter what the situation or the stress level, I eat when I'm stressed. Even if it's just a teeny tiny bit of stress, I look for the food to help me cope. Why do I do this?!

I also realized that I eat when I'm bored. I know, BIG shocker. I know I have these patterns, I'm well aware of my faults, yet, I keep falling back into the same old patterns. It's almost as if I need to pay someone to follow me around and any time I go to eat something, they need to ask me "Are you really hungry or are you just bored?" I need to work out my stress on actually working out. Walking, biking, running. ANYTHING!

GET ME OUTTA THIS PATTERN!

I don't quite know.

So for the last few weeks, maybe 2, maybe 3...I haven't felt quite normal. I know I'm not "normal" in any sense of the word, but something has been off. I have been more quiet than normal (i know, crazy that I would be quiet :P) and I just haven't felt like doing a damn thing.

Can anyone help?!?!

PS- I aced my psych class :) GO ME!

Weigh-in

I know I missed weighing in last week, but I had a great excuse. CAMPING!! I had an okay time. We went to beautiful...Brigham City...um, no comment :P It was nothing like I had imagined camping was suppose to be: No pine trees, no animals, no anything really. We even rented a HUGE motorhome which was more of a pain than staying in a tent, but all is well. I guess i shouldn't complain because I didn't plan the trip, I just sat back and enjoyed the food :) ...lots and lots of food. And surprisingly this week, I'm not up! But I'm also not down. My weight didn't change.

Oh and bad news, I had my first flat tire on my bike :( But this was not caused by me. Guess I will learn to not let the liar of a 10-year old ride my bike, or be alone in the motorhome with my purse, but that is a whole other story itself!

So goal for the next weigh in is to maintain. Its been hard this week due to an inadequate supply of good food in our fridge, and Dustin's 30th birthday on Friday!!! I'll check in later